You know when the time comes. To fight it is futile. You must acknowledge it.
You want the children back in school.
Yes, it's a moment of selfishness; weakness? I'm not so sure of that.... here's why:
My wonderful summer-girl headed back to work. My bunnies had three days before beginning another school year. They began on Friday. Yeah, I know. I think it's stupid too. But I didn't get the last say...so...Friday it is. I tortured my good natured co-workers by lugging them to the office. Now, in my defense, they (my kids not my co-workers) had plenty to do: movies, coloring, games, books, toys... and I DID try to keep my hours to a minimum. I saw no need to spread the agony of my migraine.
They did a wonderful job. They got a little cagey at the end and I understood that as the signal to pack it up. For THREE DAYS I did this. By the third day, we were ALL a little punchy. My Bunnies, however, took it too far.
It began when they started catapulting stuffed animals across the hall...STOP!
It continued when after lunch they began to spin each other in my office chairs for the "barf factor" ....STOP!
It brought a low whisper, promising a need to stand during dinner when the slapping began accompanied by "Owwwww Quiiiiit iiiiiiit" ...The rule in my house?
Mommy better NEVER get to three. Anyone counting?
So I decide that since they can't stand to be together; one will eat in the dinning room. One will eat in the kitchen. I will drink my dinner at the bistro outside.
WELL! I may have just asked them to consume a burrito filled with fire ants. The tears and the wailing were too much. I asked them: "Do you want to eat together?"
"Oh YES!"
"Can you handle it like a ten year old and an eight year old?"
"OH YES MOMMY!!!"
I am a fool. I give in. I eat dinner with the Stepford siblings from "The Village of the Damned" Their manners could rival the Queen of England. Still smouldering from the afternoon, I pop a couple Tylenol and head for the other room. I am gone:
one
two
thr...
I return to find Benjamin pinned to the carpet by Madeline's knees while she windmill punches him as fast as she can. The dog is beside himself and attacking whose-ever feet he can find with each jump and yap. Benjamin is pulling at her wrists and hands...in order to bite them.
THREE! FOR THE LOVE OF MOTHER GOOSE~ THREE!!!!
They say that in times of great duress, one possesses almost super human strength. All I know is that I sounded like Lou Feregno as I lifted both children by their waists, carried them to the bottom of the steps and after grasping just under their armpits; high-stepped them tippy-toed up to their rooms. At this point, with spit flying from my lips I screamed "GET IN THERE AND DON"T COME DOWN TIL YOU'RE EIGHTY!!" My nose is throbbing and I am panting. The dog is now where to be seen.
"You started it" I hear from one to the other.
"You hit me"
My gavel is my fist and it strikes both doors ending the tabling of blame.
"ENOUGH! NO TALKING ! NO BLAMING! NO MOVING!!" I screech at decibels too high to be heard by anyone but Winston. He whimpers and finds a new hiding space behind the couch.
I sit in the hall and wait...okay and doze due to emotional exhaustion...I do this for about thirty minutes. I open the doors and discover each of them has gotten their school clothes out for the first day, loaded their book bags and ...gone to sleep due to emotional exhaustion. What angels....with fangs.
It IS the most wonderful time of the year....
I hope you had an easier go of it. But thanks for laughing along.
