I do a LOT of baking and cooking for the holidays. Who doesn't ? THIS year, the kids really wanted to help. What the heck? What the puck is more like it.
I lined up all the ingredients for the cookies they wanted to make: oatmeal. They were hip-bumping each other to make sure one was in front so one got to start mixing 1/10th of a second sooner. That's a big deal, you know.
"All righty.." I began and lickity split someone grabbed an egg, somebody else grabbed the sugar and in the process an egg hit the floor as did the flour with a hearty "spluck!" and "fOOff"
"Sooooorry" was the chorus. I sighed. Winston sneezed into the pile of flour and snorted some egg white; my little Roomba. Fabulous! I headed to the laundry room and pulled out the electric broom. I was thinking I was going to need it. A lot.
"All righty." I began again and THIS time I had enough breath to begin delegating.
We had a cracker and measurer, a pourer and a mixer. Of course both had to be ballers. Stop it. They're kids. Okay, shapers. Feel better? quit laughing. That's immature. hee hee.
Winston just pranced around and sneezed tiny white clouds and goopy strings. Niiiiice. I chased him with the broom.
One thing my kids have not quite learned and that is to be GENTLE when making cookie shapes. We should have addressed that before the cookie dough balls hit those trays. Wow is all I can say. They were DENSE. They were PRESSED. The raisins had extra deep wrinkles and I think were turned inside out from the pound per square inch of pressure my two little Hercules-es applied. I just wanted cookie dough balls. These were Olympic discuses. When I put them in the oven, it took both hands and some serious brow furrowing to shove them in. I told the kids to set the timer and watch it. They did the first part, but being ten and eight the second set of instructions got lost with the words "Heyyy! Wanna go..." and so it goes...as do my kids. The timer went off and no one was around. I sauntered out because I had to switch laundry loads and WHOOPS saw some VERY golden cookies bakin' away: no kids in sight. They were outside building sand forts with their igloo block makers. No big deal.
I pulled the precious little nuggets out and allowed them to cool. And harden. Wow again. Each cookie was walnut sized but it was so heavy that you always looked twice to make sure you hadn't inadvertently picked up a horseshoe off the snack tray. I bit one. And tried again. Then I re-positioned it so I could gnaw at the oats and hopefully break a mortared crevice somewhere in the impenetrable cookie shield. Silly me. This was war. I needed a true dessert WMA.
I got the moo juice out, poured a HUGE glass and set it next to the cookies to intimidate them.
Then I plopped one in. The phone rang and it was my girlfriend. We began to yap and twenty minutes later I realized what I'd done. I wandered back out to see no milk but a super puffy cookie swollen to fill about a quarter of the glass. I swore it laughed at me. It might have even flipped me a cookie bird.
The kids came in and I realized there were seven more than the two that I originally sent out. Amazing. The kids saw the cookies and imMEDiately got the cookie stutter..
"Wha...What's th..that?"
"Cookies."
"Wha...What KIND?"
"Oatmeal."
"Ca..Ca...Can I have o-o-ne?"
Now (as most of you know) I have been dubbed the tough mom. I have rules and ALL visitors are expected to follow them (this incLUDES no snacking too close to dinner) so when I said "Heck yeah" and put the plate down those kids all were CERTAIN it was a trick. Cautiously they bit them. Then tried again. At last, they made the attempt with their back molars to break the cookie shield. "mmmmmm" was all I heard. They really did TASTE good.
"Ben and Maddie made em'." I smiled and waited.
"Mssisss F'sss?" I heard from stuffed little mouths as they jostled the oatmeal shards in their tender cheeks.
"Yes?" I asked innocently.
"Kwee haff sum Meeuk?"
I poured the cups. "Sure."
Ben and Mad just kept chewing. I was afraid the cookies would swell in their throats and cause a problem. Nope, a quick shot of moo juice and some slurppy noises from deep in their chests in they were filled up rarin' ta go.
"Mom?" they asked on the way out to finish their sand forts.
"Yeah?"
"Can we take these outside?"
"Well, I guess, take only a few but don't eat too many. "
"Ohhh we won't." Maddie added sweetly
"Cool!" Ben shouted "Shields for the fort!"
And off they went.
Bring on the Pillsbury Dough Boy! We're ready to rumble! Who's laughin now, Chunky?
Thanks for visiting. Have a nice day.
