I remember when Maddie was new and on the brink of walking. I was so excited and proud for the moment to arrive. She was sitting in her tiny rocking chair dressed in a navy blue and pink Gerber Daisy top with navy leggins and teeny work boots. She smiled big as the sun and stepped out. She walked toward me...and like all toddlers: she toddled and plopped to the floor. She looked me smack in the face and plainly babbled "Daaammmit." picking herself up, she continued to cruise. Wow. Two firsts. But only one is professed in the baby book. The other one; the NON dirty one is captured in her book a couple of days later..."Sock" is the official version. I knew I had to change. This was not a gift I wanted to necessarily pass on.
When my son was very young and still in a car seat, we were driving around running errands. As is typical for Jersey drivers, someone decided that the left turn only lane rule (clearly marked with paint and signs) did NOT apply to them and so they cut me off to the right (so they wouldn't have to wait...imAGINE that!!!!) I rubbed the steering wheel and muttered a word sounding similar to "trash bag". My son echoed those sentiments perfectly through his sippy cup and crackers but with a little more of a James Earl Jones growl. I knew I had to change. Another heirloom to hide.
But there are good things here too: My kids love to sing. For the longest time they were certain that the words to Bon Jovi's "I'll be there for you" were: "I feel bad for you...." and Madonna's "Spanish Lullaby (Last night I dreamt of San Pedroooo" went : "Last night I dreamt of some BAGEEEELLLS."
When they were small, we attended a different church. Maddie had a doll named Jesus (we tried other names but this was the one that stuck...to this DAY) who attended with us. Once the doll fell out of the pew when we stood to pray the SILENT Prayer of Confession. Maddie went out into the aisle and picked up her escapee, scolding the errant "baby" like any good mother. "JESUS!" came flying out of her mouth. Ohhhhh yeah. Maddie struggled with Confession when it was silent. On another occasion, her tiny voice broke the peaceful reflective moment with "My panties are stuck in my bum." Then of course there is my son. Not to be outdone, he professed during mealtime prayer "I want to thank the BIG G upstairs for this yummy grilled cheese. It IS Heavenly."
Not too long ago, my son was agitating my daughter (following the little brother's manual to a "T") and she was SO angry she had her fist balled up and ready to clock him. He ducked quickly out and sat in the hall laughing to himself. I was fine until I heard him sigh heavily and say:"Haaaaaah. Yeeeep, GOOD times." and he kept going about his business. I laughed out loud on that one.
I'm proud of their quick wits. In the car a couple of weeks ago we were heading passed my favorite burger joint. Boo asked if we were stopping to get some (as he does whenever he sees the sign) Cheech laughed it off and said "No Boo, Mommy gave that up for Lent." Without missing a BREATH he said "Awww that's a shame. We'll just leave her home when we go there then. Happy Easter!" I'm not sure which was funnier; the comment itself or the fact that he was so willing to toss his mom under the proverbial burger bus. Thanks big guy. Maddie is more reserved. Her humor comes more with her animated facial expressions. There was an instance where some girl had made a comment about her boobies (or lack there of) in front of quite a few other kids. Well, my tiny petunia was crushed. But she held her own and do you know what she said? I'll tell you. "What interest are my boobies to you?" and she wiggled her eyebrows. I was sitting in the "Bistro" and had vowed to stay out of it. But I had to laugh cause that other girl was three shades of firetruck red and stuttering away. The other kids who had initially laughed at Maddie now laughed WITH her. Good girl.
Today, my son asked why there were sidewalks. My husband challenged him: "Why do you THINK there are sidewalks?" and Boo paused--"Well, I'm not sure because a lot of people sure are driving these days; maybe for the hobos? Keeps 'em outta the way." Ohhhh yeah. Dats mah boy.
No crazy stories today. Just reflecting on my kids; loving them and the amazing people they are becoming. It's hard to be a parent and quite honestly there are days when it is NO DAMN FUN at all. But when I think of these things; how they've grown and changed. When I witness their wit and humor I wouldn't change a thing. It's good growing up in our House of BS: B-Skultety; at least it's never dull.
I hope you enjoyed your visit. I did.
