Does anyone remember Pygmalion? It's one of my favorites. Remember Eliza's phrase? "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the ...." Yep. Well when we had such awful weather, I decided to take a spin on it:
The insane, I complain come out ONLY in the RAIN! ~you can't hear my accent, but it's there.
This is all true. I would scoff also had I not been a witness to it:
I was driving home and saw a woman stop in the road: just stop. There was no puddle to frighten her, not even another car. She did not put her hazards on, no trauma...just stopped. I of course slowed, just in case. I was half expecting many clowns in slickers and rubber boots with confetti in buckets to leap from the car. Didn't happen. Well, she had her passenger get out, run around the front of the car and go by the driver's side. Then I saw it. A plastic deli bowl of fruit salad. The traffic was coming and on this particular road, even though there is no official lane division there seems to be an understanding: no an EXPECTATION that four cars can zoom through there at any one given time and many varying speeds. So this driver completely threw her passenger under the bus (almost literally) for some honeydew and cantaloupe? Then the lady picked it up and ran back to her space.
You know, I've done my share of Chinese fire drills. I've even pulled over to remove a trashcan or two from the middle of the road. But FRUIT SALAD???? Ummm that dippy sauce better be un"firetrucking" belIEVable!!! She slammed into gear and zoomed on. Content, I suppose that she had saved her nutrients.
So I continued on and turned the volume up. It seemed to make the bad visions go away: for a while.
Later that same day (still raining) I was coming in the back way to our development. The primary entrance had flooded and there was too much traffic for my blood pressure to remain at a safe level. Now behind our home is a pond and a little creek. Cute thing except for when it's been raining for days. It was swollen and shoving right over its edges into the main road. Hence, traffic and trouble.
This boob decided half way through the deepest puddle that it was too much. She pulled to the side to turn around; attempting a magical K turn I would suppose. The problem was, she had turned into?...waaaaaait for it......the? THE POND
Holy crap! She parked right in the middle of the stupid thing. And THEN when she realized it, there were too many people behind her , none of whom would let her out. So she sat there. In the muddy rushing water. I was thinking about the Mythbusters episode where they tell you how to get out of your car if it becomes submerged. I hoped she'd seen it.
I traveled on, still having some running to do. I came upon an intersection with lights. Regular stop lights. They looked regular to me: red, yellow, green. I was wrong. Almost dead wrong. I came up and was waiting to make the left. The light went yellow (I know better than to go during yellow. Yellow means smash the skinny pedal on the right ALL the way to the floor. ) But I thought when it turned red, I'd be fine because they would stop, I'd clear the intersection and all would be right as well, rain. Nope.
I saw him coming and my mind/ guardian angel whispered "wait." Horns honked and I saw the "Jersey wave" But this guy was flying. I waited. He ripped through there (on the phone of course) and had to dodge others that were trying to go around ME from right to left to cut across. You getting this? Do you hear the wet screaming rubber? Can you grip your steering wheel tight enough? Probably not.
So let's sing a NEW song Eliza. (From "The Sound of Music": Do Re Mi)
Don't!-get out to get your fruit!
Wait!-don't send your friend ahroooouuund
Please!-Don't turn, the water's high.
"Fu**" Will no one let me ooouuuut?
SO?! I'm gonna blow this liiiiight
Bird-It's what you flip at SO
ME?! I just want to go HOOOOOME
And it briiings us baaack to DOOOON'T
Thanks for checking on me. Have a good day.
