SAVE MY PLACE
She paced nervously as time crawled painfully by. She realized now, she could no longer remember the last time she slept; really slept. Since he’d left? Before? Worry pinched inside her chest. She sadly thought of how he’d had sand for a blanket and bombs for an alarm clock all these months. It weighted her heart heavily, but soon it wouldn't matter. Soon she could sleep. Her fingers wrestled each other wanting only to hold him. Sweaty hands. Dry lips. Each time the door opened she gasped, straining to see him. One more tear collected, blurring her vision of him. She was terrified she’d not see him first. Selfishly that was what she craved. She ached to meet his eyes and smile deep within them; where no one else could hear their conversation. His mother touched her arm and said something. She laughed but never took her gaze from that door. That damn barrier to her whole life.
He walked quickly with determined steps. He felt caged in this little room. He could hardly breathe. After all the time spent sucking sand into his face and lungs, he found the Airwick air freshener choking and sickening. He hadn’t slept. His mind was filled with anxiety. Was she all right? He’d asked her to move and then he’d left her all alone with his babies. He felt the burn of guilt. Soon, it wouldn’t matter. He’d be able to hold her face and see her beautiful eyes. His weight shifted from foot to foot. The door screamed open and more soldiers wandered out into the freedom they were fighting for. He craned his neck to see her. In all the weeks of missing her, these last minutes had become the most grueling. He heard her laugh; like music. He found himself jumping above his brothers to see her.
There! She saw him. Was he jumping? Her feet began to move, she began weaving through strangers. Her heart was thudding in her chest. Her arms folded in and she pulled them up almost in a stretch. The room felt too small for her tall slim frame. She kept pushing. She refused to get lost in this sea of happiness. Family trailed behind, tasting the anticipation.
Finally the squeak was for him. It was his door. The group surged forward eagerly; wanting to touch the hero, welcome him home. He heard none of it. His eyes caught hers. Her smile stretched across her pretty face and then tears came. All of them: relief, joy and the hottest ones reserved for the fear she'd had to eat day in and day out until this moment when she could see and feel that he was safe and they would be whole again; a whole marriage, a whole family.
His relatives consumed him, swallowing his form, patting his back, hugging and laughing. Over them he reached, touching the softest skin he’d ever felt. Hers. She finally unfolded her arms up and over the family’s heads. The heat of her touch burned him like the dessert sun never had. Her hand fumbled but locked with his fingers. He whiffed her light perfume and saw the curves of her body under her clothes. He wanted to hold them, kiss them, and memorize her all over again.
When finally he held her, the pain, fear and moments of weariness flowed from her freely, his arms encircled her, protected her, promising love and rediscovery when the party was over. She felt herself flush with joy. She breathed deeply smelling salt and sand. She cupped his face and tasted his mouth.
Around his legs came a tight grip. His own tears fell as he knelt to hold his daughters; his babies. He stroked their hair as if it were fragile gold thread. It was longer now. They giggled and tattled on each other. It was the best news and some of the most important things he could remember hearing in weeks until she said it in his ear.
“I love you.”
He breathed in every syllable and clasped her hand more tightly.There were the tiny echoes
“I love you Daddy!”
Her sister was quick to follow. “I love you too!”
“You only said it ‘cause I did.”
“Did not”
“Did too.”
“Did…”
“Daaaaaaddyyyy!”
His wife shrugged and rolled her eyes. “Nothing’s changed.”
He laughed and wiped his eyes; proud, happy and satisfied. That hadn’t taken long at all. They had saved his place in the family. He was where he belonged.
May God bring him home to us as soon as possible. We miss him. Your strength and resilience is humbling. I love you both.
Tess
