I should know by now to be careful when I hear the words "Look Mom..." or some variation of such. I have been surprised by bloody noses, almost broken fingers, newts, bees' nests and my personal favorite: grey milk. It's okay, I still say it. Ewwwwwww.
Today was one of those treasured experiences. One of those where you grab the counter, bow your head and whisper: I am NOT seeing this. Both my bunnies have the sniffles and are so congested they snore like an entire naval barracks. Of course they deny that they are stuffy so they snort all day long. I know where Old MacDonald's pigs are... My usual comment is: BLOW. But they act as if I have asked them to eat raw meat. They hate it. Apparently, it takes too much time out of their day.
This morning we were running a bit behind (which in all other instances is pretty GOOD time....it was only" a bit" versus the scattering panicky dash for the door accompanied by my official mommy voice booming "MOVE MOVE MOVE").
I heard my son sneeze and there happened to be a heavy creamy popping sound. I knew he'd blown his nose out all over his face. He laughed because he is a boy and boogies are funny. Without turning I told him to get a tissue and pointed to the counter. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him kind of swinging his head so I can only assume that he is wagging his boogies like an elephant's trunk. He is still giggling to himself, proud of his accomplishment. He wipes himself off and grabs another. He chuffs a little air through his nostrils and it sounds like wax paper. "Give it some gusto Bubby! BLOW." I direct. He yanks another tissue and wads it up into the size of a penny and sticks it under his nose, blowing as hard as he can.
I should have known better. I should have thought twice. But I heard "Hey Mommy...." and turned as he finished with "my face is all shiny..."
My face pinched up. Squinted my eyes and replied "Why yes, it is." He is still laughing and blowing.
I gave up and handed him a paper towel. Bounty, I believe is the quicker picker upper. I hoped it was true.
He was still laughing "You should've seen your FACE Mommy! Shoulda SEEN it." He's wiping all the way to his forehead and down under his chin like he lost the World's Biggest Bubble Blowing Contest.
"You're gross." was all I could say.
"It was funny. Your face was SO funny. You looked like you sat on a tack! Ahahahaha!"
"Gross"
"Funny. hahahaha!"
He turns to me, hugs me hard and says "That's why I love you Mommy. I love your face."
And then he wiped his all over my shirt.
Mmmmm. Shiny.
