As most of you have seen from the Doppler radar center, we got snow. Not a metric ton but enough to warrant a sweaty encounter with the snow shovel. Everyone also knows that Winston is a sissy. He is afraid of frost so this was devastating. He bunched up near the door and "tucked" as much as he could. He tried that paw thing again but failed. OUT YOU GO!
"Ewwwww" I swear I heard him mutter as he slunked out the door. He sat on the top step shivering (again). I donned my boots and whipped open the door to begin. I shovelled a path down the porch and cleared a spot on the grass so he would not freeze his little "man toys". I turned to proudly point out his new "hot spot" but since it was 6am it was dark and hard to find the little pig.
If it weren't for the clinking of his ice boogies breaking off and hitting the ground during his frigid convulsions I might not have seen him. He was cowering under the lawn furniture in the gazebo. All that was visible were his tiny deer feet.
"ohhhh c'mon you big Nancy-boy. Hurry up."
But he chuffed a rebuttal "Not on your LIFE sistah!"
"Be a good boy. Go potty." I coaxed and bent down. Now mind you I am in my jammies (black and red) my tan and navy boots, a pink glittery stocking cap and a muddy brown jacket with maroon gloves. I am a wintry nightmare. I know I wouldn't run or respond to someone sounding so (unREAsonably) chipper and wielding a big stick with a scoop on it.
I stomped my foot. "Let's GO." I said a little more sternly.
He lowered his head so he could see me from under his haven. He took a huge breath. As the cold tickled his tiny nose he let go of this sneeze that should have blown him half way across the lawn. It is followed by two more. He's up. (as least now I know his bum wasn't frozen to the porch).
I laughed and put my shovel down, resting it on one of the chairs. I reached down and tugged him from his hiding place to carry him across the patio and put him in his luge-track/potty spot. He cowered and shook.
"Hurry UP Win!" I huffed and leaning back to get the shovel, I lost my balance and bumped into the gazebo pole. It was just enough.
The snow gave and slid down flopping like fresh pancakes. I felt it seep in between my coat collar and neck. Quickly finding all the naked and weak spots in my down and Gortex body armor; my wrists, my ankles, I am overloaded by that "ice cream headache" kind of pain. It's cold but it burns. I jumped up and down, shook out what I could and headed for the door swearing at Winston who was SKIPPING up the porch. He made this satisfied, happy little snarfing sound almost like a chuckle and waited for me to open the door.
Once inside we both shook off our coats and wiggled our feet. I got him a cookie out of the jar and an Oreo Cakester for myself. We both earned it.
Have a good day and come back soon.
