He got the pen knife, remember? We started with soap? Yes, well we graduated today.
I remember when Maddie was wee tiny and she discovered scissors. The rule became a mantra in our home: Only cut paper. She of course experimented by making "paper dolls" out of her clothes. THAT was a shopping trip. Only cut paper. Then there was the time she wanted to know what was inside the pillow... Only cut paper. There were my drapes, my carpet AND of course, there was the dog. ONLY CUT PAPER!
Boo has made it much farther than his sister before his curiosity burned better judgment. It's why we gave him the pen knife quite frankly. He had proven himself. I forgot that since he was the younger child, Maddie having already learned the rule; he never got to chant :Only cut paper. I didn't really mind the soap figurines. They are in a baggie for his scrapbook.
Today however he got me. It was homework time and I got stuck doing my OWN homework, bustling about doing chores and whatnot. Fact? I wasn't paying attention. He was wearing his pen knife as he does every day after school. He had it handy. So far everything was cruising along at life's normal Skultety pace.
Now, Boo wanted to grow his hair long. So over the last several months he's become my shaggy, surfing, wreckless angel. I LOVE his hair. I truly do. (Remember when I refused to cut it because of all those DELICIOUS curls???? Ahhhh God it killed me to do that...) He was SUPPOSED to be busy with his homework. He was busy alright. Yep cutting his hair. Ohhhhhhh my GOD! But the kicker was that he cleaned it up so I never knew. He did SUCH a good job, no CSI unit could have found a single solitary hair. (This will bite him on the arse next time I ask him to clean his room by the way....oh yes indeedy.) Then he just kept at his homework.
Normally, Boo runs his hands through his hair and it's almost always messy. He must have gone upstairs to comb it and check his handy work. I called him for dinner and he came bounding in to the kitchen.
I almost dropped my dish. My eyes grew wide and my mouth fell open. I gasped and laughed at the same time. I tried to recover myself, honestly I did but it was so FUNNY!
"Holy shit Benjamin! Did you cut your HAIR?"
He was proud "Yep. Now I can see. I didn't want long hair anymore Mommy."
Cheech turned around and nearly blew beer out of his nose. "Oh Jesus God Boo! That is one nice do!"
He welled up with tears. "Is it bad?"
I stuttered and stammered. "Uh ummm well? We can fix it. We'll fix it right after dinner. No one has to know. But Ben?"
An embarrassed tear dripped from his rosy nose. He was mortified.
Maddie walked passed him and shook her head.
"Only cut paper Dude. Only paper." and she headed for the computer, never slowing not even really stopping to look.
"BAWWWWWWWWWW NO NO NO NO! Don't look! Fix it! I didn't mean to!"
I hugged him and giggled through my sigh. Cheech left the room to laugh with his daughter. I could see them playing with their bangs and cutting with their fingers. They were almost peeing in their pants. No fair. I wanted to laugh too.
"Buddy, don't sweat it. Everyone does it."
"Not like THAT!" came from the other room.
"Bawwwwwwww QUIIIIIIIIIT IT!" He pulled his hood up. "Will it be fixed before school?"
"Yes, we'll fix it before school." I took him upstairs and sat him on the toilet; my own scissors in hand. The damage was too great for me to even attempt. This was a professional job. I smiled weakly and took him back down. We were greeted with "Shhh ! Shhhh! stop! He's coming...hee hee hee stop."
We ate quickly, Ben jumping up delaring he was full after two bites and slipped into his coat, heading for the door. It was the fastest my son has done anything aside from open Christmas gifts. Cheech was close on his heels, the memory maker tucked behind his back.
"Dude, you should have seen what I did with scissors..." my husband started.
He smiled a little. Before he could figure it out, Cheech whipped out the camera, blinding Ben with the flash. He looked like the figure in Edvard Munch's "The Scream" a new barrage of tears accompanied by an even tighter hood. I was made to promise not to post the pictures. I'm not supposed to be writing about it. He wanted to keep it quiet. Hence the cramping in my hands as I type as quickly as I can before they get home....
I called after him to tell him by the time they were finished with him, no one would ever know. "Ben?" I began.
He sniffed and nodded. "I know now Mommy. Only cut paper."
