Ah yes, in a moment of delusion, I though that with my schedule and list of "to-do's" that I could also accomplish ONE MORE TASK: chaperone my daughter's "graduation" class trip to the Baltimore Aquarium. Let us pause here and think TRULY think about that. It's okay, it's what I thought too.
We needed to be there no later than 7:30a so I actually got to sleep in until 6a. Good start. My group consisted of the giant and her Seran Wrap friend. Not too shabby.
I was asked if I could take them home after the trip (we were to arrive back in Joizy about 5-ish). I said yes. It's alllll good.
Now:
What did we see and learn on this cultural extravaganza?
* A homeless hooker at the side of the road which two of the six boys sitting across from me tried to solicit.
* We discovered that two rows up, a boy and a girl were trying to kiss each other while all their friends attempted to catch it on their iPhones and send it to the entire world. This kiss did occur and I know so simply from the neon flash occurring when everyone clicked their pictures.
* We understand through experience that if you put "slime" in your hair it will NOT come out without peanut butter (and that you must wait until you get home to do so....so don't do it early on in the trip...or you'll be SOOOOOORRY!)
* We have grasped the notion that boys are fascinated by toilets. If they are on a bus....all the better because the most important lesson there is simply: Can you pee standing up while moving at 70 MPH or faster?
*Snow globes don't bounce just because they are round.
*Because there is a movie on, children don't just zone out and watch it. They prefer to scream ABOVE it. Trust me.
*If you are a fifth grade boy caught saying a dirty word...let's say it sounds like ship...and an adult like me hears you? It's bad. On all levels.
*There are moms five years older than me who still want to be/look/act like fifth graders.
*That is sad. VERY sad.
*7:30am until 7:30pm is too long to spend on a bus with sixty fifth graders no matter HOW HARD YOU TRY
*Martinis are not sold in the Baltimore Aquarium
*They should be.
*I only like my daughter
*I will do this for my son
* I laughed my head off
*I love being a mom and am more tired than I thought possible.
Next time I hope to observe some fish. Are there any there? I doubt they were as exciting as the sites I saw....
Don't be jealous. I share everything with you...you know that. Thanks for visiting. See you soon.
