Ahhhh yes. It's getting closer. That time where a young girl begins her great hike across the bridge of life to womanhood. What a load of malarky! A privelage? A treat??? A rite of passage??? Ohhh no.
Welcome to Hell. Here's your ticket. Period.
My daughter is experiencing a slight imbalance in her hormonal coping skills and emotional stability levels. I'm sure you're familiar with the letters that define it: PMS PMDD or IKYIYCC (I'll Kill You If You Come Closer)
I caught her crying one evening in her room before supper.
"What's wrong Bug?"
>sob sniff< "I--I-" I rubbed her back. "It's okay, Bunny, you can tell me..."
"I-I-duh-duh"
I sat back and the bomb exploded:
"I DON"T KNOWWWWWW" bwaaaaaahhhhhhh.
I sighed. It was here. For all the chatting, all the books we've read and discussed, it was time to REALLY talk. I ventured downstairs and returned with the appropriate medicine:
a salty pretzel and some milk chocolate. My daughter looked puzzled. I handed it to her and began to talk encouraging her to have a bit.
"Honey, your hormones are changing and you are growing up."
She grinned sheepishly. How cute.
"You are going to experience feelings that are intense. Liiiiiiike you want to scream and yell at someone even though what they did was no big deal."
"Like when Ben came in without knocking and I threw all those books at him."
"ummm yeah. Didn't know about that. But yeah. You're going to feel funny: maybe mad, maybe sad, and a lot bloated."
"What's that Mommy?"
"Welllll it's when you feel like you have a Hippity Hop stuck under your shirt and you have to bend over to touch your toes a lot. It makes you sigh and pat your belly."
"Hmmmm. That's funny. Is that why you have skinny jeans?"
"No it isn't and yes it is."
"Well, what else?"
"You might have cramps and headaches."
"Why?"
"It's all part of the game Sweetie"
"Well, I don't want to play." She pouted.
I smiled. "It seems kinda scary, but..." and I explained the science part again.
She looked horrified. None of this is new information for her but now it's hit home that it's going to HAPPEN to her and that's a different story entirely. And the question every girl asks:
"When?"
"When you're ready."
"Well, I'm ready now. I want to get this whole thing over with early."
"Ummm-- Bug? You go through it for a very long time remember?"
"Well, do YOU?"
"Yes. And that is a very important thing to remember. We will BOTH be going through it. So you will not use it as an excuse."
"I wasn't GOING to..." she snapped.
"I didn't say you WERE--" I equalled. "But consider it a FRIENDLY WARNING LIL MISS!!!"
"Why are you yelling at me??" she wailed.
" I DON'T KNOW!!!!" I hollered. "Give me the rest of that pretzel...Did you eat all the chocolate?"
"You said I could HAVE IT!"
I sighed and pouted.
Welcome to Hell...Here's your ticket.
I pray for strength and lots more salty chocolate. All fond wishes are accepted gratefully.
Enjoy your day. Thanks for stopping by. It makes me happy that you do.
