Confusion and cold woke me; a shiver that shook me to the ground I lay on. It was dark and the noises around me were muffled as if I'd had mud in my ears. As I got up and began to move, my body registered frantic engulfing pain. Looking down, my clothes were ripped, my skin was torn stained dark, red almost black. I clawed my way out of the ditch and staggered to a road. I stumbled along the edge trying to piece myself back together: body and mind. I thought sure someone would stop to help but the cars whirred by; never even slowing. Finally, I stepped out in front of a growling little Honda. Vrroom! Right through me. There was a rush of heat as the understanding came crashing into my head: I was dead.
I continued to walk home, remembering my own tragedy. I had been playing with my dog; Sadie, throwing that nasty spitty Frisbee by the woods. She'd run off and I followed ignoring my mom's Carol Brady voice "Don't go into the woods alone"...."Don't play ball in the house..."
I guess I thought Sadie counted. Standing there in the trees, I was too busy listening for her collar. By the time I realized he was coming, it was too late. He was gruffing a little but his blue eyes seemed to swallow me. His grin was gluttonous and hungry. "Don't go alone...." chipped at my brain. "Ohhhh Mom! I'm coming! I'm coming home and I'll never do it again!" thundered in my throat. I began to run not sure where.
He stopped and caught his breath almost laughing " Go ahead. Run. I'll find you."
My knees could barely hold my weight. My mind scattered; torn between running away and watching him. I really thought I was clever enough. I was wrong. "Don't go alone..."
He came out of nowhere and knocked me to the ground. My breath ran away. I saw it mist into the sky. I smelled coffee and cigarettes. His spit trickled into my mouth as he panted above me. I felt his hands around my throat. My stomach lurched. I choked and kicked. My lungs burned begging for breath while tears and terror blinded me. My eyes throbbed. I felt weak and tired. Mud began to climb up the back of my shirt and into my jeans; I was sinking.
He was bouncing on me almost giggling, squeezing tighter..."Gee-gee-eee" He matched my gasps. Then someone turned down the volume and the lights. I fell away from Earth.
I made it home; seeing all the lights and hearing the sirens. I stood at the end of my drive like a guest. My mom was sobbing. Dad held her but he was crying too. I'd never seen that. I recognized family and friends pulling in. So sad. I wanted only to say I was safe now; no pain. I couldn't comfort them, reach them. Their wailing and sorrow echoed in my ears. It was maddening. I felt guilty for going into the woods. "I'm sorry Mom. I was wrong." I said to the trees. No one heard me now.
Then I saw him. He approached my mother, resting his dirty hand on her shoulder. She smiled up at him and said "Thank you." If I could have puked I would have. There was this burning like bile in my throat driving me to dash across the lawn and attack him like an animal. I swung my fists and kicked my legs. I screamed some more and called him a sick bastard. I told him to get away and leave my family alone.
Nothing.
He never flinched, only shook my dad's hand and got into his squad car. His last words were "I'll pray for her." He grinned again. I spit in his face. He waved and headed up the block. I followed. It wasn't far. He lived a couple of blocks away. He whistled up the drive and unlocked his door, slamming it in my face. I stormed in with a fresh wave of hate. I'd find a way to get through.
They sat all around the house; grey drawn faces, tear streaked cheeks. All of us had broken throats. All of us were torn and stained. We stared at each other; this room full of ghosts.
He continued to live; go about his days. I couldn't take it. I jumped at him. I tried to bite his face and push in his eyes. I wanted blood. I needed to taste revenge; sweet and salty. Every day I'd try again, attack him but without result. My dead heart was breaking.
She sat on the couch most days staring through me with watery eyes. But this day, she got up and approached me. I wasn't frightened. We were somehow "sisters" She touched my shoulder as I panted and choked on my own frustration. Her mouth moved but there were no words. Her throat had been cut. It was a bubbly whisper. I watched as she approached him looking into his repugnant face and she did it. She hit him. I smiled and took a swing too. Other girls wandered in and began. He was a ghastly pinata to us.
He began to feel us. We saw him twitch or jerk back from one of our hits. This only encouraged us. We began to scream and yell; kick and bite. He would plug his ears and run. We simply followed him making the attacks worse. We kept him from sleeping. We never got tired. We were dead.
We drove him mad. Our touch made his skin crawl. Our voices made him cry. We enjoyed his nervousness, his fear. His soul twisted and we were glad. We even laughed together; this group of marred girls. One day we all got in his car with him. He was on his way to see his shrink. It didn't help. We plagued his dreams and his days. The medication only made our actions seem wilder and more distorted. We were flipping channels on the XM and the wipers. We even figured out how to shift his car. It was a great ride. He almost pissed himself. We were strong enough to fight him together. But then he slammed it into park and got out on the old bridge. We were right behind him but he was too quick. Joop! over the rail!
We stared after him; lost and sad. We drifted down to his lifeless body-not quite mourning his demise; more like the end of our retaliation. We were disappointed that the hateful source of our existence was gone.
He stirred and groaned. We all backed up; too excited to hope. He looked around dazed and startled.
"Hello." I smiled. I was the only one with even a small voice left.
"Hey..." he sighed with relief wiping his brow. "I..." but he stopped, REALLY looking at us; our damaged bodies. We grinned with pasty dead smiles. He was truly with us now.
It was almost a hunger. We swallowed the concept immediately. His mouth twisted. His scream ripped through his body. I admit now, I was a little jealous. Such VOLUME. He shoved past us and headed for the woods.
We stood motionless. There was no rush.
"Go ahead. Run. " I garbled. "I'll find you."
So this is what my nightmares are made of. Nothing like sharing. Come back soon. I'm glad you thought to check on me.
