This one is a little edgier than usual. No worries. It's not erotica (I save that for my OTHER blog) just....be advised.
Remember the first time? Were you fumbling, stuttering, embarrassed? Could you look them in the eye? It took me days. I think I broke out in a sweat each time I entered the same room, flushed with nervousness, apprehension. I just knew it was written all over me. I'd caught my parents doin the horizontal mambo. Dear GOD, they each thought the other was hot and they liked each other naked. NAKED!
I've been told through laughter and blushes that friends of mine were in their passionate throes and looked over to see two little eyes peeping at them from the side of the bed.
"Well Hello there."
"Wachoo doin Daddy?"
"Absolutely nothing NOW, Punkin. Let's go watch cartoons."
"Okay..."
THEN (and one of my favorites)
There was the couple with enough foresight to close and lock their door. Thinking they were "good to go" began to dance.
knock knock (softly)
"Leave it."
knock knock (louder) "Helllooooo?"
"Uhhhh Be right out Honey."
And from under the door appeared the tiniest, most curious, wiggly fingers followed by the puffing sound of a little mouth as Baby flopped on the rug right in front of the door peering under it:
"What you DOING in dare?" Naturally this came in a rush of loud giggly breaths because at such young ages, everything is a game.
Yeah, that's an all time fav.
Of course, it's different for me and Cheech. When Maddie caught us (the first time), she was about three. She had a habit of following us (everywhere, all the time) and we had mistakenly made a game of hide and seek out of it...every time but once. That once, we thought we'd have enough time to run upstairs, strip, wrestle and be back down before she'd counted to five via the numbers nine and firty (she was three after all, so she took the long route). We were wrong but had covered our bases (desperate to be together and giggling about it in a heated rush) by hiding in our closet. Even if she found her way upstairs, we were "tucked away" seeking sensual refuge on a mountain of laundry. But that little dickens found us...in the worst ummm position. I was kicking the door shut with my foot; but the damn thing wouldn't latch so she would push it open and I would kick it shut and she would push again, laughing..."I finnnnnd youuuuuu. I seeee youuuuu" One day, we'll tell her. But I want to make sure she'll think it's gross.
That being confessed a little sheepishly; I will admit insomnia is a lonely thing. I don't enjoy infomercials and sometimes I don't want to write. This particular morning, I knew exactly what I wanted. I snuggled up.
"WHAT are you doing" were the sleepy words.
"mmm nothing. Are you awake?"
"Would you like me to be?"
"Yes, please I believe I would." we giggled and horsed around.
Now, I am not a quiet woman in anything I do and this has made me very careful in certain situations. Careless with two kids? Perhaps. But I also have incredible hearing...Down the hall I heard my daughter stir.
"Wait. She's up" I hissed.
"No she isn't. Nobody is at this hour except you."
"She is! Shhh"
"I'm tellin ya, she isn't. C'mere."
We giggled and horsed around. The best part? Okay maybe the SECOND best was that it was so early we got to take a "nap" after. Hooray insomnia! Everyone wins. We got up and got ready for our day. I went in to start Maddie's engine for the day.
"Mom?"
"Yep?" I was picking up some laundry.
"You okay?"
"Yep." Still had no clue.
"Mom?"
"What Maddie?" I stood up in a little huff and flopped my arms to my side.
"Well, I was awake at 4:32 this morning...."
My mouth fell open. I began to scramble and stutter "Yeah? Hmm. Why's that? "
"I heard you crying or something. Did you have a nightmare?"
I looked to the heavens and was grateful for the out. "YES! Yes I DID have a nightmare. It was a whopper! So sorry I uh woke you."
"Oh wow. I thought you were havin a seizure or somethin." she sighed and looked at me; long and hard.
"Yep. Nightmare. That's exactly it." I clicked my tongue and bit my lip. The tears were coming and I didn't know how long I could hold the laugh in. I jogged to the bathroom and told Cheech.
"I told you she was awake." he smiled over the top of shaving cream.
"You LIIIIEEEE" and I swatted him.
"Maybe. But YOU got caught."
He was right. I had nothing; but a seizure.
Too personal? Probably. Funny? Yes, in my mind. Like it? I hope you did. Hug whoever caught you and especially the one with whom you got caught. To quote Dr. Seuss:
Funny things are everywhere.
