I hear that you should always be open to communication with your kids, your spouse, your friends. Listen to them. Be available; always. This has become painfully obvious to me...the always part.
Why is it that kids ignore you until you are on the phone or in the bathroom? THAT is when my kids have their epiphanies, greatest needs and deepest thoughts.
I got a phone call from my girlfriend in California. We have not yapped in MONTHS and there was a lot to catch up on; good and bad. Of COURSE this is when Maddie decided that she needed to tell me in "charade language" that I needed to bake cookies for class. But as the ultimate mulit-tasker, I started to play along. I was sympathizing for my girlfriend and furrowing my brow while whispering the answers to Maddie's clues:
"Uhh huh. Sure you're right."
drilling? Ten-twenty-forty...COOKIES! YOU NEED HOW MANY? I almost shrieked (but still in a whisper).
She shook her head emphatically and rolled her arms like she was a steamroller. "BY TOMORROW!?" my rose in alarm.
"Uhhh-- no. Sorry. I'm listening. Go ahead." and then I fired off a look and turned my back.
Her eyes pleaded with me but she sadly sulked off. Those were some imPORtant cookies. When I finished my conversation, I hunted her down to ask her why the panicked hand gestures. In spite of my frustration, there WAS something hilarious about my ten year old making a big "C" with one hand and stuffing her other arm in the middle of it and swirling around as fast as possible. And then of course there was the ten finger flashing speed counting. She said she didn't want to forget. I think I would have preferred a note.
Later in the week, I was in the bathroom. I got in and seated JUST before there were little voices outside the door asking if the kids in the house could go outside. Now mind you...ALL the kids were at the door. Yeppers. I think it was the fastest "yes" I have ever given. Maybe that was the intent. I still found it confusing since the kids came over "to play outside" and had to come in to ask to go out...Regardless, they all tramped off like a herd of elephants. I didn't see or hear from them for about two hours.
Last night, my husband and I were getting ready to go out. I was just getting ready to pop in the shower. My son opened the door and asked if he could have a Clementine orange and some crackers.
"Boo, I'm naked. Privacy please. Go ask your daddy. He's down in the kitchen. "
"Yeah, I did. He said to ask you since it's so close to dinner." While he was telling me this, he was peeling the orange.
"What do you think I'm going to say?"
"No." He took the first bite.
"Why would I say that?"
"Because you're naked." another bite.
"Then WHY are you asking me if you're going to eat it anyway?"
>shoulder shrug> "Give me the orange Boo."
"Are you going to eat it in the shower?"
"No."
"Are you going to eat it after you get out of the shower?"
By this time all the warmth that I had stock-piled from steam drifted away. I'm cold and yet my blood pressure is high enough to make me feel heated...somewhat.
"No." I growl knowing exactly what is coming.
"Can I have it?"
"BEN!" I shout and almost squeeze the orange to oblivion. I set it on the counter thinking the best thing to do would be to launch it at my husband.
My husband wanders down the hall and waves him away.
At last. I will have peace and a hot quiet shower.
"What are you wearing?"
"That dress."
"Oh. Good. I like it." and he lingers in the doorway...more steam floats off to warm the rest of the house. "What do you want ME to wear?"
I give up and march into the closet, pick out one of my favorites. He smiles since he approves.
"That's what I was thinking!" he says simply.
"Great minds..." I mutter and go back to the bathroom,closing the door; a few minutes is all I need; all I crave.
He saunters back in. "Should I wear a tie?" The door is open. I am still naked.
"No." I grump
" A jacket?"
"You can if you want to..." I'm trying not to explode because there is nothing sillier than a naked angry mommy.
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing a good hot shower won't cure. " I try to smile thinking he'll get it.
My smart allec husband opens the door all the way. "Want to talk about it? After I take my shower?" He blocks me from the stall and pretends to get undressed. He is giggling.
I shook my head and shoved him. I stepped in and began to sing to him ...his LEAST favorite song in the world as badly as I could.
He took a bite of orange and flushed the toilet on me.
Communication. The best kind involves no words at all.
