Nine years ago, I was at home. You rumbled and kicked; making your presence known and your wishes clear: we needed to go to the hospital. I was about ready to debut my son.
I called your Aunt Yaya to come and stay with your sister. We waited for your daddy. My doctor didn't want to see me, but I was pretty insistent. I knew you what you were trying to say.
The car ride over was the bumpiest, most stop-and-go ride I've ever hated. I clutched at the door handle, tugged on my seat belt, begged you to stop and even attempted to put my foot through the windshield. Pain like that is NEVER forgotten, but for you? Forgiven completely. It was your father's fault anyway, really. I told him that...no, I shouted and hissed like a deadly viper. I believe it's why he hit all those potholes in the road. But who remembers...
We got there and were not sure if I was even going to make it to the delivery room: In and out of the elevator I was wheeled while I attempted to gouge the eyes of the uncertain intern pushing me about. I wanted relief or drugs or death. Labor was NOT one of those choices.
My epidural was horrendous. It was a needle: what else can I say? If you know me, you understand why I won't discuss it. It makes my spine jelly and I lose the ability to use the muscles in my ha...
You were actually given the name Nathaniel Webster; but it simply didn't fit. You are Benjamin through and through. Do you know what else you are? Funny, smart, gentle, loving and best of all? Our son. For all the stubbornness (that you inherited from your FATHER) there is twice as much laughter. Each day I am grateful for you...whether you taught me a lesson, tested my boundaries, or made me smile.
This weekend was special because we celebrated you and your birth day: a day that still brings tears to my eyes when I think of how quickly you are growing into a handsome wonderful young man.
You've taught me a lot about: patience, thinking outside the box, overcoming seemingly impossible odds and best of all how to love so much your heart aches because you simply can NOT find the words. It can only be expressed in hugs and our special good night song.
You amaze me Boo. You bring so many wonderful challenging things into my life, my heart, that I can only say I could never be without them; I would be less.
I love you Boo.
Happy Birthday.
Wear your helmet and get sun screen on! If you get hurt or burned, I'll get you!
Love,
Mommy
