I'd had a tough day. It was one of those where your brain is screaming and the fillings in your teeth are hot. As most of you know, I am not one for conflict or confrontation but over these last couple of years, I have painfully learned what happens when you don't stand up for yourself and you allow others to talk over you. I have a very high "boiling point" as my family and friends will confirm; but when I've reached it? Get outta the way Baby. She will shake you to your CORE!
In the middle of a conversation and through elaborate hand gestures that should have won the World Charades Championship, I am informed that I must call a physician's answering service to get a number where I can call to get a CRITICAL med change and subsequently call it over to the pharmacy. Did you get all that? Simplicity is my middle name ( after Contessa of course!). In this day and age of faxes, e-script, and cell phones....I am a little confused, but flex my dialing finger and begin.
It starts with Perkie (I don't know how to make hearts to dot i's, sorry). She doesn't understand the concept of what I'm asking which is : May I have the office number of Doctor G's office today so I can call for a med change that he is requesting. But after three transfers and the same question I am forced to leave a message and wait two hours. Suddenly, my phone rings and I meet Bippy who chirps at a pitch bordering on eardrum rupture and bleed-out, but she sings out the golden trophy: the number. Step one complete.
Step two: I call that magical number, push twenty-five buttons, get tossed out to the main menu eight times because I "no hablo espanol" and I pressed "numero dos en accidente". CRAP JOSE! I wait some more and search for a band-aid. My dialing finger stings and is awfully red. Two more hours snail by.
Step three: With my day drawing to a close (it has been four hours since I was informed of this critical med change) I call again to get a recetpionist who is intimidated by my language. I say "Hi. I'm calling for a dosage change for patient X of Dr. G's" She panicks, pops bubblegum in my ear and directs me to another voice mail. I leave a message and wait.
Now in between all of this zany fun, I am buzzing around doing my regular work and answering phone calls like: "Is it in yet?" "Is it done yet?" "Did they call back yet?" and these come ....Ohhhhh about every twenty minutes. It's like sitting in the garage with the car loaded for vacation and JUST before you turn it on to begin your voyage you hear from the monkeys screaming in the back "ARE WE THERE YET?"
I have to leave now, but I make one last attempt. Old faithful dials the phone and low and behold I get what I need: the doctor. Weee HOOOOO! I get what I want and am exstatic until I hear :
"This was a critical med change. What took so long? This patient needs these meds and I specifically told my staff to tell you this. You don't care about your patients enough to even try to get their medications changed with some sort of expediancy? "
And yes folks, there is is. We've reached boiling point. My face and throat turn a pretty shade of cranberry. I suck in my lips and taking a large yoga breath, proceeded to explain that yes, I did care. In fact I cared SO much that I made no less than five phone calls, spoke to four different people , left an equal number of voice messages at two hour intervals that were NEVER returned by HIS OWN STAFF. I then asked Dr. God, why, if it was so very CRITICAL did he not whip open his cell phone and call the damn thing in from the get-go. (pant-pant) I hung up, said something that requires a lot of fancy symbols but kind of sounds like "lucky stick". I made the med change and slammed out of the office. I ignored the wishes of "Have a nice weekend."
I drove home angry, waited angrily for my kids to get home so I could be mad at them. I was only made MORE angry by the scores of phone calls to ask if their friends could come over and spend the night. "OHHHHH GREAT!" I muttered....angrily. But I bit the bullet and said okay. On top of my bad day, I added four kids. Russian Roulette is a game of chance my friends.
But as the guests arrived, I began listening to the girls giggle and laugh about school, their teachers and sing amazingly bad kareokee. I marveled when they offered to help me with the dishes. They said "Yes, Ma'am. Please" and "Thank you" They loved my cooking. Each of these kids made me smile. They made me laugh with their silly jokes and funny faces. I forgot my bad day-even when it was past 10 O'clock and I was half asleep making snacks for the night-owls. I'm glad I bit the bullet because it tasted like a late night ice cream sundae. My kid's sleepover was a success on many levels.
My mother used to say, "If you put a smile on your face and try just a little, you might find yourself actually having a good time." In this case, it was very true. Thanks for coming by. Enjoy your day.
