There are those times when my husband makes me laugh until I can't even imagine where my next breath will come from. This was one of those times and I hope I can paint the picture for you.
We went away this weekend and met one of the Yayas for a quick fun trip. By the time we arrived, it was REALLY late and I had been running on the previous night's espresso mixed with my insomnia...yeah, a deadly combination after thirty some hours. I copped out and attempted sleep. The "boys" haven't seen each other in quite a while so they were fired up and ready to rock. One had packed a few beers and they sat and began drinking....and kept drinking...on empty stomachs.
Well, one says to the other "Hungry?"
"Yeah."
"Snacks?"
"No."
So the boys go hunting and find an unattended bar with? Snack mix in a HUGE Tupperware container sitting unprotected in a lonely corner. Well, my husband drops to his knees and crawls under the "little bridge/door thing" as it was related to me in the morning. I smile because his knees are very bad and so he must have been crawling with a limp and a lot of little grumbles. (Oooo! Ow! Oh!) There was a window visible by the night staff so as to be more sneaky, he never stood up. Nope, he simply reached up and pulled it from its perch in the window. I began to giggle at this point because I am envisioning two "Thing"s pillaging this defenseless snack mix. Add in that he wasn't sober? It had to look like a freakish shadow-puppet. THEN he told me he had to reach up AGAIN! For what? A SERVING BOWL!!!! The sound disappeared from my laughter. I am simply wheezing. I envision the lid sticking and as he tugs; the container angrily separates from its lid tossing teensy crackers everywhere as my "navy seal of snacktime" falls to the ground knocking over bottles and cups!! So he scoops out a serving (ever the polite thief; except for the couple of handfuls he HAD to have at that very moment missing his mouth on a few...) and puts back the big container (again the clumsy hand puppets). While hugging the serving bowl of stolen goods, he begins to crawl on his knees and one hand BACK under the "bridge" and out of the bar. His accomplice is leaning "Oh so casually" in the doorway pretending to be amazed by something in the hall to hopefully block the night staff. SMMMOOOOOTTHH! I'm sure the cameras missed you in all your stealthiness.
So as the less than sober sidekicks head out with their loot, my hero bumps his arm (the one carrying the snacks) and dumps a guilty pile of crackers; but they are laughing and shushing so hard that they begin to spill the goods leaving a Hanzel and Gretal style trail down the hall, out the door to where they flop down to talk about their top secret mission and drink a couple more.
Good one Hon. I congratulate him, wipe the tears from my eyes and head down to breakfast. I look to my left as we enter the restaurant and notice a small unattended bar. Under the little "bridge" and about hip high is a big container of snack mix that is about one quarter full and sitting at a VERY odd angle; almost falling off the shelf. I smile, following my family around the corner to our table. As I walk, I see tiny pretzels, nuts and cheez-its in a sparse trail, a few stragglers tucked into corners all the way around to the bank of elevators. I begin to giggle again. I checked our bill this morning but found no mysterious charges for snack mix.
Not yet.
I hope I made you smile. Thanks for stopping by; you're such good company.
