I remember playing in the hose when I was little. My dad would wash the car and we'd get soaked: run away and come back. Run away and come back squealing like a stuck pig. Run away and come back. As we got older and had to wash the cars by ourselves there was a little more intensity and malice to those hose fights. Remember? You held the trigger ALL the way in to get that angry stream. Or maybe you were the one to sneak up and blast quickly at close range (and I mean right up against the ole kisser, eyeball, back of the head, in the shorts...You know who you are and what you did). The long-short of it? I love playing in the hose. I still drink from it if I'm out and too grimy to come in. I'm sure I'm in violation of some EPA rules and that WHO would gasp in horror at the sight. SLUUUURRRRP! AHHHH Good stuff.
Where is this going? Right out to my back yard last night. By accident, Boo had put something yucky in the trash while there was no bag inside the can so he got to march outside, drag the hose behind the bistro, around the flowerbed and to the edge of the woods where he was supposed to wash it out. Being a boy, he did everything boys do: pretend he had pee-pee power -washing abilities, put out imaginary fires, move Heaven and Earth or at least some of the yard...everything but actually wash the trash can.
Maddie was watching and being the older sister, felt the need to be in control and made a fatal mistake. She went outside.
He saw her, watching from the corner of his eye. He pretended to water the oak tree. He soaked some fake seedlings in his "garden" all the while edging closer to the porch, holding out for the perfect moment. He was all but whistling the Baby Bumblebee song...
She never saw it coming and it was a WALL of water. All that could be heard was a mingling of "BEEEEEEN~" and high pitched devious peels off belly laughter...oh and wooshing water.
Maddie sputtered and huffed indignantly. She turned back to see me but I had ducked behind the counter and was laughing my head off. It was SO funny. She looked like those clown targets at the fair where you have to fill up their mouths with water to get a prize. Not to be outdone by her little brother, she regained her soggy self and promptly bent the hose until she could turn it off. She stuck her tongue out and gave that over the shoulder "Nah-nee-nah-nee-booo-booo!" wince of a grin.
This enraged her brother who picked up a clump of dirt and lobbed it at her head. She ducked and ran for the house but I had locked the door. I opened the window and hollered for them to get out there and "git er done" like any redneck mom. I sat back to enjoy the show.
Maddie drug her feet to the edge of the yard and they began to play fireman together (after I turned the hose back on) They were having fun and although they were soaked, nobody was really mad anymore. So I thought.
They had the can filled and were swishing away all the "Ben applied" yuck. They were laughing and calling it a potion. Ben turned around to get something to stir it with and Maddie in that split second decided that she needed to chuck the water and start fresh. She swung the can "One, two, thr..."
It was his turn to not see it. He walked right into a grey, yucky wall of trash water. It didn't help that being splashed in the face made him gasp so he swallowed some...ewwwww.
That was when the brawl began. No holds barred, they were beating the holy crap out of each other. I collected the trashcan and put a bag in it. Dodging knees and elbows as they rolled around in the leaves professing their contempt for each other. When they had exhausted themselves and were both in tears, I gave them each other's favorite candy. They had to share and or trade accompanied by apologies. With muttering and rolling eyes they made amends.
No one lost an eye or a single tooth in the washing of this trashcan. No liners were ripped. It was just some good clean fun.
Gulp.
