I decided they were old enough. My kids could help me set up for Christmas. So we trudged down to the basement where I hoisted them in to the crawlspace and they began to push the boxes of lights, ornaments, and miscellaneous goodies. They love being in there. It's like a clubhouse with electricity. How there is a fright difference between that gaping tomb with a jagged concrete floor and one tiny window that has the world's thickest screen over it so NO ONE could ever hear you screaming for help versus the bogeyman that supposedly hides inside the playroom closet is out of my reach. Of COURSE the bogey man is in that closet! DUH. But the monster that lurks in the shadows in the CRAWLSPACE is MUCH MUCH worse. (maybe I should write about THAT one!) It's why I sent them up there. I was scared.
All the pine garland turned around on itself like deranged pipe cleaners. The lights...no need to say more...and the cinnamon pine cones? WELL they had seen better days. A few of them had been stripped down to stinky twigs with eensy cinnamon scented tiddlywinks piled high in the container. Some of my velvet bows were missing their velvet though I imagine some mice were fat cheeked and extremely cozy somewhere in the walls. AnOTHER nightmare for me. But all in all we were good. Let the games begin. I put on the music and made oj Sprite-zers.
So the kids IMMEDIATELY grabbed my most precious and breakable items. "WHOA! Nope. You take the wiggle-butt Santa and YOU take all the extension cords." By the time I got to the top of the stairs Wiggle-butt Santa was trapped in the cords mumbling "Jingle Bell Rock" and Winston was threatening to mark him as official territory. FABULOUS!
I gave in a little bit and permitted them to construct my village. They broke two elfin arms (one carrying bread and the other WAS pulling a wagon...now he just looked like he was turned around watching the possessed wagon coming AT him down the fluff/snow covered mountain...) A couple of balls got stepped on and popped. Winston rolled in the silver garland and almost choked himself as he dove under the bed to get away from me. Good boy! That's the spirit. Let Mommy hang you with the stockings....
I wrapped their doors like Christmas gifts. Winston tried to undo it and eat the paper. He loves to unwrap stuff. We'll see how long it lasts. I may wrap him up just for kicks and use duct tape. So the Santas are out, the cards have been almost completed and the broken stuff has been discarded with minimal tearing. The angels have been dusted and the candles have been lit.
All that remained was the testing of the lights. Lord I hate that. But it wasn't too awful. I only had one strand that ended up a liar. You know, the one that works just fine until it's showtime? Then it poops out due to a crooked/bent/disconnected wire. Oh yeah. THAT'S the one.
Last time I was so furious I almost toppled off the ladder yanking it out of the pine tree since it wouldn't work. Not to mention that my Honey kept telling me I was in the wrong spot but to be in the right one meant I had to have branches in my ears and up my nose {did I mention I was the only one actually HANGING the lights? You feelin me???} PLUS I was told that I had too long of a strand {this turned out to be untrue after I went in and got a shorter one...that didn't fit.} My husband and I don't do Christmas lights together. Nope. We enjoy being married. I'm too stubborn and he's too bossy. It's just a cage match waiting to happen and the neighbors I'm SURE would pay to see it. If you remember from last year, I stripped an entire lightset right through the garage door because I was so furious at him (and the stupid lights). As I "made my point" and violently attempted to yank them into the garage to throw them out {It really was funny. My arms were flailing and I was just a-puffin away like mad dragon} but the door closed too quickly so there was this poignant stutter of minibulbs shattering as they smacked into the door I refused to open. I just continued to pull them. Yep sounded like a Tommy gun. Did nothing but make a mess I had to clean up and make my husband almost pee himself. My temper gets the best of me when I let it out.
But this year went smoothly by comparison. Of course, it's raining today and I didn't put up the lights. I'll save that special moment.
Ho Ho Ho. Hope you made it safely through Black Friday. I hear there were marvelous sales and only a handful of people lost eyes, digits and lives in the rushing crowds. Tis the season(?!) I stayed in. When you figure my loathing for grocery shopping even at 7am...I can't wrap my little mind around the mobs and gobs of people on Black Friday. I just sit back and enjoy the stories as they are told to me. And guys? Thanks. They WERE FABULOUS!!!
Well, here we go...the holi-daze are officially upon us. No matter what, try to give yourself a gift...a little time. My deadlines are coming and I'm getting nervous. Gotta scoot. Be back soon.
